Our friend Steve over at Nerd Fitness recently posted a challenge to help us come up with a superhero persona to help us break our bad habits and work out.
So, I decided to design my superhero persona. But, being the contrarian sort I am, I chose to be an archvillain instead.
By day, I am a curmudgeonly history major with a love of reading and an overweening fondness for Coke Zero and Doritos. By night, I'm sleeping. But by early evening, I become the archvillain, DEATHSPANK.
Now, who is Deathspank, you ask? Why, merely a horrible woman in in great boots, a near 18th century style cape, and black leggings with an overwhelming preoccupation with attractive men. She lurks in dark alleys and Men's Wearhouses, and when you least expect it, she strikes, spanking the attractive rears of good-looking men and then RUNNING AWAY.
She boasts a svelte figure that looks great in pleather and needs much exercise to maintain. She weightlifts a lot, mostly because she likes ogling sweaty men. She does calisthenics so she can get that quick first burst of speed to get away from the men's pissed girlfriends. Her own favorite superhero is Batman, and she dreams of owning a pair of Batman high-tops someday.
Off to go work Deathspank out. TTYL!
